The Best Player Rewards Card You’ll Never Get

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Man, I know they like to send out tournament staples in the MPR mailings, but this is just ridiculous. I mean, this is just gonna TANK the value of my Ice Age copies. Ugh. Just in case you've been living under a rock for the last, oh, FIFTEEN YEARS, here's the Oracle text for Ice Cauldron. Feel free to play your textless promos at a PTQ, where people might actually, you know, KNOW THE RULES, but don't even think about playing this at FNM. Some donkey will invariably ask you what it does. How hard is it to remember these things, people? Damnation kills all the creatures, Cryptic has 4 modes: Counter, Tap, Draw, Bounce. Ice Cauldron just, does what it does!

Variable Colorless, Tap: Put a charge counter on Ice Cauldron and remove a nonland card in your hand from the game. As long as that card remains removed from the game, you may play it. Note the type and amount of mana spent to pay this activation cost. Play this ability only if there are no charge counters on Ice Cauldron.
Tap, Remove a charge counter from Ice Cauldron: Add Ice Cauldron's last noted type and amount of mana to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to play the last card removed from the game with Ice Cauldron.

I know, OMG hard to remember. Whatever. At least the poor players who just scrub out at FNM will have one to play in their decks. I've had my set since it was a chase rare in Ice Age. I'll prob just sell it on ebay or something. Lame!

note: yes, this is farce. no, this is not for real. there is no ice cauldron textless promo. that art isn't even by rebecca guay. i just stole the idea from zaiem beg over on channelfireball and thought it was hilarious.

Kelly Reid

Founder & Product Manager

View More By Kelly Reid

Posted in Uncategorized

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2 thoughts on “The Best Player Rewards Card You’ll Never Get

  1. Tracked down the source of the art. It's an artist named Emily Balivet. Here's some more of her stuff. Kinda reminds me of some old-school Magic art a little bit :)

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