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Cogwork Bartender
Design Goals: Replicate the draft-screwing design of the original Cogwork Librarian without making the card itself unplayable. A colorless Grizzly Bears in Cube is not generally very good, but it's a playable 23rd card. His ability to rummage away 2 cards is net loss, since you lose the Bartender as well. That's OK because between the card selection in-draft and in-game is "virtual" card advantage.
Inspiration: Cogwork Librarian 
Got your own fun custom Booze Cube cards? Make One and reply with a link to it.
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Some notes: We don't try to replicate proper Magic templating language in the rules text of cards. We do this to save space and make the cards more human-readable. Remember, you're probably real drunk when you're playing and the subtleties of the Intervening-If clause may elude you.
Nice! I actually have a similar design for the next version (yep, already started working on it). Mine is a “Creature — Bottle” with boozetouch. Although I might just stick a regular Cogwork Librarian in my cube once I can track down a foil. I’m very excited to see what other new draft mechanics Conspiracy brings.
Man you’re a hustler. I’m going to try to put out an entire 149 card “small set” over the course of the next 6-12 months.