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The Man Who Ate Pumpkins

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It's that time of year when the pumpkins are out. Pumpkin spices are in everything from lattes to air fresheners, and when white people can't get their pumpkins, they get upset.

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You know who likes pumpkins even more than white, suburban college-aged kids? People who eat pumpkins. Specifically, pumpkin eaters of the "cheater cheater" variety. People like Trevor Humphries.

How does Trevor Humphries like to shuffle decks on camera? Like this.

The video evidence is beginning to add up quickly. Allegations of Humphries using the opportunity to shuffle an opponent's deck (ironically, to prevent the opponent from stacking their deck) to put non-lands on top, forcing repeated Mulligans have been coming in. There is a pretty decent reddit thread devoted to the topic.

The thread in question

Not only did Humphries win the SCG Standard Open over the weekend, he won the Modern Open. There is another video link running around, showing him up to those shenanigans at another event, shown here.

Evan Erwin tweeted today that SCG is aware of the video evidence impugning Humphries and they are looking into it. Will Humphries be denied some of the significant amount of prize money he's won over the weekend? I'm not sure, but what we do know is that the evidence is very clear. Twitter is abuzz with the allegations and I will be monitoring the reddit post as well. More on this story as it develops.

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Jason Alt

Jason Alt is a value trader and writer. He is Quiet Speculation's self-appointed web content archivist and co-captain of the interdepartmental dodgeball team. He enjoys craft microbrews and doing things ironically. You may have seen him at magic events; he wears black t-shirts and has a beard and a backpack so he's pretty easy to spot. You can hear him as co-host on the Brainstorm Brewery podcast or catch his articles on Gatheringmagic.com. He is also the Community Manager at BrainstormBrewery.com and writes the odd article there, too. Follow him on Twitter @JasonEAlt unless you don't like having your mind blown.

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21 thoughts on “The Man Who Ate Pumpkins

    1. I have a question about a different instance of cheating. I was recently at my local FNM and noticed a player inbetween a round change out a card or two from his binder to his maindeck. As decks are not registered in any fashion, how should I go about bringing this up to the judge or store owner. He is friends with many of the other players there and I am afraid it is I who would be ostracized if I mentioned it.

      1. I would have casually been like “we are allowed to swap cards out?” with the tone that you didn’t know that and also wanted to. Say it loud enough to catch other peoples attention, and it will look innocent enough on your side that you won’t be seen as an outcast. But in reality you should be able to go to a judge.

      1. I fully blame scum for being scum, but naivety empowers these people to get as far as they do. I mean, people defended Bertoncini for a long time. Probably still do.

  1. I have a question about a different instance of cheating. I was recently at my local FNM and noticed a player inbetween a round change out a card or two from his binder to his maindeck. As decks are not registered in any fashion, how should I go about bringing this up to the judge or store owner. He is friends with many of the other players there and I am afraid it is I who would be ostracized if I mentioned it.

    1. If there’s a judge, then tell them what you saw. You don’t need to call out an explicit player, but maybe ask them to just give a reminder at the beginning of the next event or in between rounds. This will hopefully be enough to curtail the shenanigans without it becoming a full-on confrontation. A lot of times players just need to hear that others are aware of their shadiness for them to cut it out.

      Same goes for the store owner.

      It’s possible (though highly improbable) that he think this is OK from certain limited events where open deck building is completely fine.

      If, however, he continues to display this behavior, just mention to the judge what you saw and ask them to keep an eye on this player in between rounds. Ideally, the judge or store owner is who catches the player and deals with it directly, without having to involve you.

  2. “When white people can’t get their pumpkins…”

    Even if used tongue-in-cheek, why risk offending a portion of the reader base? You distract from an interesting topic and risk driving away future paying subscribers.

    1. As a white person, I don’t find this offensive at all. I don’t like pumpkin spice things but find the comedy behind it hilarious. Haven’t you heard that if you say “pumpkin spice latte” in a mirror three times a white girl in yoga pants, ugs, and a northface will jump out of the mirror and kill you?

    2. The rule in comedy is that you don’t pick on the marginalized group. White peoples offended by comments on whiteness don’t need to be catered to.

      1. I thought the rule was that you can pick on a marginalized group, but only if you belong to that group. The only exception is if your name is Daniel Tosh.

        1. Daniel Tosh only gets away with it because he can prove that he gets all of his jokes from reddit, and usually they’re originally written by someone from that marginalized group.

    3. It’s actually impossible to offend white people as a group. Besides, they’d have to set down their pumpkin spice latte to write a post about it and they’d see I had a point.

  3. Of course the players are the best ones to be on the look out for their opponent’s shenanigans. BUT, maybe Star City could give a reminder to their commentators/crew to keep an eye out for this sort of stuff.

    Perhaps they could get a spare Judge who’s in the know about stuff like this to be on camera duty. Rules are broken frequently, and occasionally you get the big ol’ pumpkin eater. Not sure if there commonly enough Judges to support this, but it’s an idea.

    Star City is doing a great job with their tournament series, and the burden isn’t entirely on them, but I figured it’s worth mentioning.

  4. I guess winning is still worth risking one’s integrity. Cheating is totally allowed as long as you don’t get caught (that’s an ironic joke, btw). Cheating on camera!? That is incredibly ballsy. He’s going to lose everything and get banned in the process. This kind of arrogance deserves the most severe punishment.

    Props for the balls, I guess. Now please enjoy your excommunication from the Magic community.

    1. Lose everything? Excommunication? I don’t know, man. I see Buttcrack guy at every GP. I see Bertoncini continue to play in and win events. There really is no such thing as social exile from this community. People will always have supporters and people will make jokes at this guy’s expense, but there’s nothing tangible we can do. He’s not getting into the hall of fame, but he’s not exactly going to be “excommunicated” either. The financial consequences are real, everything else is illusory.

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