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Over the weekend, I was discussing some commons and uncommons from Magicâs earliest setsânamely Legends, The Dark, Arabian Nights, and Antiquities. He was sharing a simple photo of a bunch of singles he picked up from a seller on eBay. Nothing too exciting.
But then I saw one of my all-time favorite cards in the bunch. No, he wasnât purchasing Shahrazad. There were no Jaya Ballard, Task Mages in the lot, either (Iâm still gunning for 1,000 copies and am closing in!). Instead, he had a copy of Quagmire. Stop and tell me if youâve ever heard of this card.
Why do I like this card so much? Are there other random, obscure cards that people may appreciate for one reason or another that most players probably never heard of? Youâll have to read on to find out!
Quagmire
Why have I owned a copy of Quagmire for years now, and keep it aside as a card I would never sell? There are two reasons, and neither has anything to do with the cardâs rules text. In fact, despite looking at the card every time I open my binder, I couldnât recite from memory what it does or its casting cost. Those features have nothing to do with why I find the card amusing.
First of all, there is the cardâs name. Iâm not much of a Family Guy fan, but Iâm sure thereâs a large overlap between Magic players and folks who are familiar with the quirky character named Quagmire on the show. I vaguely recall that Quagmire has some sort of goofy, probably offensive, theme song. But all I can remember is, âHeâs Quagmire, heâs Quagmire. Giggety giggety goo!â Thatâs the ditty that runs through my mind as I read the cardâs name. Every time.
Secondly, thereâs the goofy artwork. You may ask why a picture of a guy sinking in a soft, boggy area of land that gives way underfoot is amusing. Itâs because, for some unknown reason, the guy is doing the dance from Michael Jacksonâs Thriller as heâs sinking. I mean, doesnât it look like that to you too?

Whether or not you can see the similarity may impact your thoughts on the card. However, the truth remains that this is no longer a worthless, bulk Magic card. Despite the fact that this uncommon sees virtually no play, it can still be buylisted to Card Kingdom for $1.50. Iâd wager this card wonât ever be reprinted (who would want to open this card in any booster pack nowadays?). It could be worth grabbing a copy if you have the same appreciation for 1982âs Thriller as I have.
Presence of the Master
What do you get when you cross Albert Einstein with Magic? The answer: two distinct Magic cards from the Legends set.
One of those cards is Eureka, which is a high-profile and valuable rare that depicts Einsteinâs famous equation, âE = MC2â on the artwork.
The other is a far more obscure and less-often played enchantment that actually includes a prominent likeness of the turn-of-the-century scientist.
Once again, I couldnât tell you from memory what this card does. But I can certainly picture Phil Foglioâs unique artwork for the card in my head without too much difficulty. Youâve got Einstein in the center with a bunch of planets surrounding him. I want to say itâs a picture of the planets in our solar system, but there are ten pictured so I have no clue what that means. A quick Google search didnât drum up any explanations, either.
What I can say about the card is that it has a special piece of artwork and has occasional utility in play, locking out other enchantments. It may come as no surprise that the card buylists to Card Kingdom for $13 as a result. The card is more iconic and more useful than Quagmire and deserves a higher price tag.
What is surprising is that this enchantment was actually reprinted once, back in Urzaâs Saga. Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your viewpoint), the reprintâs artwork did not include Albert Einstein. As a result, copies of that version buylist for a nickel. Because of the reprint, Iâm not going to come out and declare this card will never be reprinted again as I did for Quagmire.
What I will predict is that no card will ever depict Albert Einstein in the artwork again...unless they do some sort of Secret Lair series with famous scientists. I think thereâs a higher likelihood of winning the lottery twice, though.
Sorrow's Path
Iâve seen multiple videos and articles citing Sorrow's Path as the worst Magic card of all time. This is tough to prove in an absolute sense, but itâs clear this land has very little going for it.
The circumstances in which this cardâs ability will be beneficial to use are so narrow. Combine that with the fact that this land doesnât even tap for mana, and you have a card I would never play in a deck. Seeing how awful the land is, you may assume it is equally worthless. But this is not the case.
First off, this land is on the Reserved List (thank goodnessâŠI donât think anyone is clamoring for a reprint of this card). That makes it rare and limited in quantity. Secondly, the artwork is pretty funny. Youâve got the wizard zapping the poor, helpless knight in the foreground and then a battle on a bridge with a cool dragon spectating in the background. The art is clearly the best thing going for this card.
Thirdly and most importantly, this card has earned some notoriety for being one of the worst. Believe it or not, that may make this card iconic enough to be collectible.
As you combine all these factors, you end up with a card worth about $10. Who is paying $10 for this card? Certainly not meâI grabbed my copy many years ago, and have kept it in my binder ever since. But there are copies selling, even recently, on TCGplayer. So there must be demand coming from somewhere!

Iâm not going to sit here and encourage anyone to buy this card for any reason other than owning a copy for the laughs. That said, it probably wonât be any cheaper one year from now, simply because itâs on the Reserved List.
Rocket Launcher
Other than a couple of Magic cards depicting guns, Rocket Launcher is arguably one of the most anachronistic cards in the hobby. In a world full of dragons, wizards, elves, etc., who would ever think a full-blown rocket launcher should exist? This card seems like something out of Doom. Yet it does, printed as an uncommon in Antiquities and reprinted at rare in Revised.
Unlike the previous cards I mentioned, I do remember playing this card as a kid. The ability to do a bunch of damage to multiple targets was attractive to a relatively new player. The fact that Guardian Beast allows you to use the artifact, again and again, is something that comes to mind now, but never entered my mind as a kid.
In any event, this is another card thatâs not on the Reserved List but has an extremely low likelihood of being reprinted. The concept of a rocket launcher doesnât really fit in with the modern-day aesthetic of Magic. Come to think of it, it really didnât fit in back in 1994 either. And is it just me, or does it look like Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is firing the launcher? I donât know what Wizards was thinking when they printed this card.
But it exists and it is definitely not bulk. Original black-bordered copies from Anqituities buylist for $4 to Card Kingdom. Even the reprinted, white-bordered copies arenât bulk anymore, buylisting for $0.26. If you ever come across either printing in a giant box of bulk, remember to pull this interesting piece of Magicâs history aside, either for your personal collection or to sell.
Wrapping It Up
These are just a few of the strange and bizarre cards from Magicâs history that are worth knowing about. There are surely more, and everyone you ask will probably name a different card. A couple I thought of that didnât quite make the cut include Frankenstein's Monster (another reference to the âearthly planeâ), Sylvan Paradise (provocative piece of art), and Heaven's Gate (religious reference).
Normally I focus my time tweaking my Old School decks and touting the Reserved List. It was a fun exercise this week to go off-script a little bit and touch on some of the more oddball cards from Magicâs past. These arenât about to dominate a metagame or make waves in a tournament anytime soon, nor are they going to spike due to rampant speculation. They are more under-the-radar anomalies from the early years of the game, worth grabbing for the personal collection.
Are there others I missed that are worth mentioning? Feel free to share your thoughts in the Old School Discord, or send me a message on Twitter (@sigfig8). This is one topic Iâm always happy to engage on, and I welcome your thoughts and feedback on some of the quirkiest cards from Magic history.
















